My healing journey didn’t begin because of one cataclysmic event (thankfully). It was a culmination of undiagnosed chronic conditions fueled by a nervous system that had become completely disregulated over time. I’m sure a lot of you can relate to grind culture, and making sure that your plate is full every day: Especially women. We try to carry so much, while shoving down what we truly need in order to serve everyone else around us: At least that was the case for me. Eventually, that adrenaline-fueled lifestyle came to a grinding halt in 2020.

My symptoms started to increase in 2018, when we lived through a full-scale renovation in a 100-year-old farmhouse that had sat vacant for seven years. Imagine what has been growing behind the scenes (or drywall) in that 100-year time frame ( let alone the use of lead paint). As a family, we decided to live through the home renovations, which took approximately 10ish months to complete. None of us really understood, nor took into consideration the impact that ripping this place down to the studs could have on one’s health: All the while going through a pregnancy, thus suppressing my immune system and detox pathways. Toxic mold, dust, old building materials... all of it got stirred up, and we lived in it: Day in and day out. 

Once construction wrapped up in 2019, something in me just didn’t feel right. I couldn’t sleep. My anxiety was through the roof. I felt bone-deep fatigue that no amount of rest could fix. I chalked it up to postpartum recovery—but deep down, I knew there was more going on

By 2020, the bottom dropped out. I was eventually diagnosed with mold toxicity, Epstein-Barr Virus reactivation, MARCoNS, chronic Lyme disease (and its co-infections), POTS, and post-concussion syndrome. This was all coupled with some bizarre symptoms such as brain fog, difficulty breathing, mono-like fatigue, burning skin, dizziness, panic, anxiety, numbness and tingling, insomnia, food intolerance (I could only eat 2 foods), sensitivity to sound, sensitivity to light, etc. Beneath every diagnosis was one core issue: My nervous system had been stuck in survival mode for way too long.

Circling back, was it the construction that made me sick? I would say that was more the event that broke the camel’s back. I had symptoms for many years, however, it wasn’t anything coffee, alcohol, Benadryl or other drugs couldn’t fix so I could keep living my unhealthy lifestyle and not make any significant changes because, well, change is hard. Once my body got to the point where it took all my crutches away because I simply couldn’t tolerate ANYTHING I put in my body, and forced me to be bed bound, I knew I needed to change.

I spent years and thousands of dollars (yes, thousands) to find any answer and fix. Unfortunately, this is a common story when you start to advocate for yourself in order to find answers to your unanswered health questions. Some modalities would work for a while, but then my body would “retaliate” and leave me sicker than I was before I started the treatment. I was labeled a “sensitive patient,” but what many practitioners didn’t understand was that the root cause was actually an extremely disregulated nervous system that was simply trying to keep me safe, and saw EVERYTHING as a threat (supplements, foods, treatments, the list goes on). 

It wasn’t until I leaned more into taking full responsibility for my healing, and focusing on supporting my body vs. “killing” that things began to shift. I had to believe in my body’s own capacity to heal itself, and I had to get out of the way of that process. What does that mean? It meant I had to address healing on every level, and not just focus on “fixing” my body. I had to take a step back from the majority of the treatments I was undergoing (IV’s, ozone therapies, Rife therapy, craniosacral therapy, massage therapy, etc.), and focus on the ones that supported draining my body, and gently detoxing (keyword, gently). I had to focus on emotional support and clearing stuff that I shoved down over the years. Most importantly, I had to work (hard, may I add, and continually doing so) on shifting ME. I had to physically do the practices every day that formed a structure that my nervous system could rely on. I couldn’t just positively affirm my way out of this or “spiritually bypass” the whole process. I had to SHOW myself (aka my nervous system) through actions that it can trust ME to really change through daily practices (eg specific journal prompts, tapping, somatic practices, L.E.T. therapy, biomagnets, minerals, vitamins, specific probiotics, vagus nerve practices, cold laser, vocal training, and interrupting negative though patterns about myself). Even small changes like walking slower, talking slower, and taking a pause to respond have had a huge impact.

My specific health journey is my own experience, which has been an interesting one. I have come to learn that everyone is truly an individual when it comes to their personal journey. What didn’t work for me may help someone tremendously. I no longer say that what I believe in or do is the best, but if it resonates with someone, I invite the opportunity to help coach them and offer my help when appropriate.

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